{About the Kindness Project–Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good. But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren’t feeling entirely whole . It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts.}
(If for some reason this player doesn’t play, please click HERE. Also, there is an interactive transcript there so you can skim if you’d rather not watch the 20-minute video.)
I believe this talk by Jonathan Zittrain is a bit poorly titled because the examples he gives throughout don’t reflect random acts, but deliberate acts of kindness by people who don’t profit from being kind, to people who aren’t in a position to pay them back for their kindness.
I love the parallels that Zittrain drew between the architecture of the Internet and how it can impact the real world. He goes into a little bit of technical detail, but basically he concludes that the internet “is a system that relies on kindness and trust, which also makes it very delicate and vulnerable.“
He uses various examples, including Wikipedia and blogging, but a recurring theme in all of them is that normal, everyday users take it upon themselves to ensure that their piece of the web is problem-free. It’s this thin geeky line that keeps it going. Not because it’s a job, not because it’s a career, but because it’s a calling. It’s something they feel impelled to do because they care about it.
My favorite specific example is about the Star Wars Kid, the poor teenager who filmed himself with a golf ball retriever, acting as if it were a light saber. As you can possibly imagine, this video was ridiculously embarrassing for him, and even though several media outlets give his real name, Wikipedia eventually decided – not unanimously by any means – not to include his real name, despite the fact that nearly all media reports did. They just didn’t think it was the right thing to do. It was an act of kindness. And to this day, the page for Star Wars Kid has a warning right at the top that says you are not to put his real name on the page. If you do, it will be removed immediately, removed by people who may have disagreed with the original decision, but respect the outcome and work to make it stay because they believe in something bigger than their own opinion.
Wikipedia merely reflects what engineer Hans Monderman discovered in the Netherlands, that sometimes if you remove some of the external rules and signs and everything else, you can actually end up with a safer environment in which people can function, and one in which they are more human with each other. They’re realizing that they have to take responsibility for what they do.
And, isn’t that what ‘kindness’ is all about? Not the idea of any kind of transaction, like something for something (payback), or even something for nothing (which can lend itself to bitterness), but just a way to show our humanity.
Let me know what you think in the comments below, and be sure to check out other blogs posting for The Kindness Project today:
Sophia Chang
Erica Chapman
Jessica Corra
Elizabeth Davis
Christa Desir
Sarah Fine
Claire Hennessy
Elana Johnson
Amie Kaufman
Alina Klein
Sara Larson
Matthew MacNish
Sara McClung
Leigh Moore
Tracey Neithercott
Katharine Owen
Elizabeth Poole
Lola Sharp
Michele Shaw
Meagan Spooner
Carolina Valdez Miller
I love this. Today’s world throws so much at us that kindness really does need to be deliberate act, not just left up to chance.
Over at my blog, we started the GoWithout campaign – the idea being that if we really think about it, there is probably something we could “go without” for a period, in the name of giving to someone else. It’s not about waiting for the right time for US to give.
Lovely!
I LOVE this post so much. Thanks for sharing! Speaking of sharing, I will now go on and share this post… <3
That’s really interesting. I’ve never heard of Star Wars Kid, but Wikipedia’s actions are admirable. I’m always amazed at the kindness shown on the Internet, such as all of the fund-raisers the children’s book field does for all sorts of charities. (Granted, there are also those trolls you talked about above.) But I think social media especially has brought people together to act in kindness.
I had never heard of the Star Wars kid before! I love that they kept his name off it, though. Even though there is nothing wrong with pretending you are a Jedi (because hey, who hasn’t done that? I mean, really). I’ve never had a lot of faith in humanity, and as I get older, I’ve come to believe that sometimes people lived down to the standards I had set for them because they knew I didn’t trust them to act any other way. It’s only been recently that I’ve been trying to believe the opposite, that if you believe in people to do the right thing, the kind thing, they will live up to that standard, too.
Liza, I didn’t realize that about the Star Ward kid– if that story doesn’t revive our faith in humanity, nothing else could. I think I like it especially because the internet (and Wikipedia) can be so anonymous, which sometimes gives people license to behave badly. It’s lovely to think they didn’t. :0)
I think that given the freedom to be truly themselves, people will naturally be kind to others. It’s very difficult to be horrible to someone is consistently kind back.
What I really love is the idea that groups of people can set up those expectations of decency and civility and compassion, and they find that state naturally, without being policed constantly! When I find communities and groups like that, it’s such a relief. And it is a kindness–just knowing that can and does happen, even on the Internet.
Oh the Star Wars! The Star Wars kid! I can’t believe I never saw this. So amazing.
First of all, “It’s this thin geeky line,” is a freaking awesome phrase, and something I’m totally going to start using. But I also love your point. It’s geeky as well, but it’s nice to think that give free reign, people still do the right thing. Makes you think there might be hope for the human race.
I can’t watch the video, but I’ve marked it for later. I love your point that when people police themselves, their compassion often guides them more than rules would. That’s inspiring.
Yes…sometimes I think if there are posted rules, it lulls people into thinking that someone else will take care of XYZ versus being compelled to take care of whatever/whoever it is themselves.
I love this: “isn’t that what ‘kindness’ is all about? Not the idea of any kind of transaction, like something for something (payback), or even something for nothing (which can lend itself to bitterness), but just a way to show our humanity.” Yes yes and yes. It’s a choice, not something we have to do, but something we do out of respect for ourselves and the world in which we live.
It’s so true that it’s much harder to give kindness when you’re not feeling great, but that’s when it means even more.
That’s where it counts, for sure! Especially to give to those who have NO WAY to give back…that’s kindness.
Wow, this was powerful, Liza. What a thoughtful post. Some deep stuff.
Bottom line: humanity, love, kindness = doing the right thing, even (especially) when no one is watching. Be The Change.
Love this post. <3
Thanks Lola! xoxo
I wish more people would watch that/read this post. Because on the other side of this, anonymity gives some people the excuse NOT to be kind, NOT to take responsibility for their words or actions. Yanno?
I know exactly what you mean: trolls are alive and kicking! But, at least in my observation, there have been a lot more people willing to be problem solvers than there are problem makers, and I have to send great “thank you” vibes out to those people!
I can’t watch the video right now because my kids are up and need me, but I read through your summary and it sounds really great! It’s true that the internet has so much power for good or bad.
Good thing, because I just noticed that there was an extra “0″ tagged onto the end of the html, so you probably wouldn’t have been able to see it! I’ve since fixed it, I hope!