Tag Archives: Goals

Clarity

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“All things are difficult before they are easy.”

April was hands down the most challenging month I’ve experienced in recent memory (and that includes the craycray of this past holiday season). There were days that I refused to go to sleep because that meant that Today had ended, and Tomorrow would come. I did not want Tomorrow to come. Tomorrow meant yet another Obligation to face down, another Necessary Evil to endure, another Reality Check that I needed to accept. Tomorrow was heavy, and I was tired of shouldering that burden day after day.

On top of that, there was the never ending winter weather that melted into apocalyptic April showers, and pretty soon, I believed that this heaviness was my new normal, with no end in sight. It’s like every facet of my life decided to challenge me at the same time. To quote dear Bilbo Baggins, I felt “stretched…like butter scraped over too much bread.” I seriously considered just withdrawing from the world, and living on my own little island.

That is, until the internal and external challenges I faced came to a head and I was more or less forced to stop All The Doing and Busyness, take a step back, and evaluate my situation from a more objective place.

What did I find? I found that I had a problem with perfection that I NEVER thought I had inside me. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the heaviness I experienced was the constant disappointment I felt against myself because I didn’t know All The Things and I didn’t execute Things perfectly on my first try. I mean, that need for perfection tainted my view on everything recently, including feeling betrayed by my body when I caught my first cold in seven years.

Once I did recognize it, I was able to correct my mindset and began to find peace. I allowed myself to accept my fumbles and missteps. I let myself be OK with uncertainty. And, I found myself being grateful for this much needed experience just so I can look back and remember how I can be better next time. More importantly, I now have this reminder that I faced seemingly big challenges, and I was able to stretch, scrape, and push myself past them. If I could do it once, I can surely do it again.

I’m not going to lie: it’s hard to face your own incompetence day after day. I know. I live it. But man, when that moment of clarity dawns on you, when the fog in your mind disappears and you suddenly see the solution to the problem you’ve been staring at for-freaking-ever, you almost feel like the god of your own universe. That moment, in and of itself, far outweighs the price of all the struggle.

manager photo[Edited to include photo]

Be Here Now

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“Lost time is never found again.” Benjamin Franklin

I’m about to dive in to the busiest time of year again, and no, I don’t mean the frenzy of National Novel Writing Month which kicks off at midnight (though I do enjoy that annual treat!). I’m talking about that blessed time of year that people love to hate: The Holidays.

Personally, I love the holiday season. I’m a sucker for the window displays. The more nostalgic and whimsical, the better! Bonus points if the window displays are animated! Anyway, even though I may end up mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted by January (yay for spa days!), I always look back on the Thanksgiving-through-Christmas rush with a feeling of ‘Whoa!’ Another mountain conquered, another wave I rode out, another notch added to my belt.

But before I dive headlong into the thick of things, I need to give myself a few ground rules/reminders. After all, I juggle multiple roles, and I want to ensure that I balance all aspects of my life.

1. Before I can be take care of others, I need to take care of myself. I’m not going to lie, I feel BLESSED to have my strong immune system, and I’m sure that my positive outlook on life is directly related to my health. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been sick, and I want to keep it that way. So. When do I schedule my work outs? What foods do I need to keep in stock to prepare my meals in advance? What does my routine need to look like so I can get a good night’s sleep?

2. Don’t Mistake Activity for Productivity. Instead of scheduling All The Things and prioritizing them, I just need to schedule my priorities. Ask myself, ‘Does This Thing require my attention Right Now or can I manage this later?’ Focus on the Few Things that will give me the biggest return on my investment. During the five weeks of holiday, those few things are: exercise/nutrition, family time, writing time. Everything else is a luxury.

3. Be Here Now. To me, all of the above planning and prepping is to set me up to be 100% present, whether at work or at home. So, where do I need to invest my time so that when I’m off the day job, the switch stays off and I can enjoy being with my family when I’m with them? When can I schedule time to write, so that when it’s writing time, I’m writing my novel and not tweaking a work schedule? How can I invest in my family time so that I don’t carry any emotional baggage with me to work?

So, if you’re participating in NaNoWriMo, I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines this year. There have been too many changes in my dayjob to spread myself too thin. Besides, I’m still revising WIP2, and my writing time will be devoted to finishing that.

Do you have any tips to keep yourself grounded during hectic times?

PS,

I contributed to The Kindness Project blog today. Check out my post HERE.

The Kindness Project: Encourage Others

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{About the Kindness Project–Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good.  But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren’t feeling entirely whole . It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts.}

I’ve had this image saved on my computer for some time now. You may have probably seen it already, what with all these memes and other images flying around these days on social media. Anyway, of all the images that have flitted across my facebook feed, I chose to save this one. Why? Well, since the first day I saw, and many days since, I am reminded that kindness starts with me, and that even one simple, genuine word of praise has lasting, transformative power. It has inspired me to step outside of my comfort zone in terms of how I deliver encouragement, and to whom, and hope it will do the same for you.

Has someone been on your mind recently? Why not send them an email or message right now letting them know you’re thinking of them. Did you have exceptional service while out in your local restaurant? Why not tell your server how much you enjoyed his or her service.

Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you were inspired to spread a little kindness today.

Please be sure to check out other blogs posting for The Kindness Project today: (the Mr. Linky widget doesn’t work on my blog, but the other blogs feature the widget, so feel free to write a post, enter your link, and spread some kindness that way.) :D

Here’s To The Dreamers

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“Do not go gentle into that good night…”

Some time in between facing a challenging time at my paythebills job, watching episodes of the Korean drama, “Shut Up and Let’s Go,” and reading Inheritance, I had one of those moments, an epiphany I guess, about my long term goals and what I really wanted out of my life, and why I’ve been struggling recently to do anything about them even though I knew what I needed to do to accomplish my goals.

It’s silly to even think about it because my issue was so obvious: fear. There were different flavors and rationalizations, but it all boiled down to fear. Paralyzing, life-ignoring, shield-myself-from-pain-and-disappointment, fear.

Well, enough of that. Issues of failing or succeeding, which by the way, are arbitrary measures, were never present in my goal-setting in the first place. I chose my goals simply because they made me happy, and regardless of any other external factor, I’d be doing them anyway (the only difference is now I have deadlines).

Also, it’s no surprise to me that experiencing other dreamers daring to live their dreams gave me the epiphany (read: punch in the face) that I needed to push on. No one accomplishes much by wallowing.

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Steve Jobs

2K A Day–Word Counts and Workouts

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The end of this month will mark the anniversary of when I first started really working on WIP2. I’d had the idea, the first chapter, and scene sketches since January 2011, but was still stubbornly working on my Hot Mess of a first novel.

Now, after a few breaks, a few re-visions (one of which was a POV switch from first person to third. Now I’m back to first), and a few weeks of seriously considering shelving it, here I am a year later fleshing out WIP2. And, this is by far, my most exciting re-vision yet.

I’ve been able to commit to, and complete, 2K words a day. It’s only been a week, but any progress is great progress, especially since I’ve been regularly writing 1K a day before.

Recently, I stumbled upon this article via a retweet by @LauraJMoss…

…and was intrigued! I loved the Knowledge, Time, and Enthusiasm metric, and was tickled to know that I already do this in a vague form. I’m already excited that I was able to increase my daily word count to 2K, but I would love to see it an extra push, especially on my days off from the paythebills job.

With that, I’m going to be a bit more diligent and aware about my most productive writing time. Most days, I’ll need to take what I can get, which is usually an hour before and after work. But maybe I can find better circumstances like before or after I eat; or, before or after a workout.

Speaking of workouts, I’m ashamed to say that in my excuse of focusing on WIP2, I gave myself permission to stop focusing on my health. Which is silly, because that’s like saying I gave myself permission to stop living!

So, in the spirit of 2K a day for my word counts, I’m also logging in 2K a day for my workouts. Not that I sprint 2K* each day or that I use 2K in any way for my weights, because that’s kinda weak, but that I have the mindset of pushing myself and challenging myself to be the best me I can be each day, including incorporating my strength training, which should never ever have stopped. Lesson learned. Moving on.

(*Besides, I just simply liked the phrase, “word counts and workouts.”)

I already have a big obstacle in the form of my Very Important Work Conference that I get to go to next week. It’ll be non stop, go, go, go, activities (which works well with the workout portion of my challenge…especially with their onsite weight facilities), but I may have a hard time crunching out 2K words between the activities during the day and the celebration dinners at night.

But, at least I’m working out a plan before I even leave: chapter outlines! So even if I’m ridiculously bone tired, I have a road map to help me churn out words regardless. At any rate, I remember my days of writing my Hot Mess and coming out of NaNoWriMo with 50K words while working two retail jobs in the height of the holiday season. Working out a way to write around the activities with the VIPs of my company for four days should be cake!

Have you tried any of these fast drafting techniques? What are your thoughts on them? For those who attended Candace Haven’s Fast Draft class at DFW con, do these principles seem familiar?

(For those interested in my views on fitness/health/mindset, I recommend Jason Ferruggia’s site. He is focused on making athletes bigger, stronger, faster, but when you read with discernment, he has a wealth of knowledge on his site that anyone must know. Fair warning: he uses strong language and his posts are littered with scantily clad women, but they don’t bother me. I actually view most of them as a visual to shoot for. ;)

My favorite posts of his are: Life Wasted, My Personal Journey, The Main Ingredient.)