Tag Archives: Kindness

The Kindness Project: The Web As Random Acts of Kindness

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{About the Kindness Project–Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good.  But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren’t feeling entirely whole . It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts.}

(If for some reason this player doesn’t play, please click HERE. Also, there is an interactive transcript there so you can skim if you’d rather not watch the 20-minute video.)

I believe this talk by Jonathan Zittrain is a bit poorly titled because the examples he gives throughout don’t reflect random acts, but deliberate acts of kindness by people who don’t profit from being kind, to people who aren’t in a position to pay them back for their kindness.

I love the parallels that Zittrain drew between the architecture of the Internet and how it can impact the real world. He goes into a little bit of technical detail, but basically he concludes that the internet “is a system that relies on kindness and trust, which also makes it very delicate and vulnerable.“

He uses various examples, including Wikipedia and blogging, but a recurring theme in all of them is that normal, everyday users take it upon themselves to ensure that their piece of the web is problem-free. It’s this thin geeky line that keeps it going. Not because it’s a job, not because it’s a career, but because it’s a calling. It’s something they feel impelled to do because they care about it.

My favorite specific example is about the Star Wars Kid, the poor teenager who filmed himself with a golf ball retriever, acting as if it were a light saber. As you can possibly imagine, this video was ridiculously embarrassing for him, and even though several media outlets give his real name, Wikipedia eventually decided – not unanimously by any means – not to include his real name, despite the fact that nearly all media reports did. They just didn’t think it was the right thing to do. It was an act of kindness. And to this day, the page for Star Wars Kid has a warning right at the top that says you are not to put his real name on the page. If you do, it will be removed immediately, removed by people who may have disagreed with the original decision, but respect the outcome and work to make it stay because they believe in something bigger than their own opinion.

Wikipedia merely reflects what engineer Hans Monderman discovered in the Netherlands, that sometimes if you remove some of the external rules and signs and everything else, you can actually end up with a safer environment in which people can function, and one in which they are more human with each other. They’re realizing that they have to take responsibility for what they do.

And, isn’t that what ‘kindness’ is all about? Not the idea of any kind of transaction, like something for something (payback), or even something for nothing (which can lend itself to bitterness), but just a way to show our humanity.

Let me know what you think in the comments below, and be sure to check out other blogs posting for The Kindness Project today:

Sophia Chang
Erica Chapman
Jessica Corra
Elizabeth Davis
Christa Desir
Sarah Fine
Claire Hennessy
Elana Johnson
Amie Kaufman
Alina Klein
Sara Larson
Matthew MacNish
Sara McClung
Leigh Moore
Tracey Neithercott
Katharine Owen
Elizabeth Poole
Lola Sharp
Michele Shaw
Meagan Spooner
Carolina Valdez Miller

The Kindness Project: Finding Validation Through Kindness

Posted on by
22

{About the Kindness Project–Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good.  But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren’t feeling entirely whole . It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts.}

I haven’t seen one of my favorite regular customers in a long time. I think it’s been over a year now. The last time I saw her, we hugged for a long minute on my sales floor, at the end of which I whispered in her ear, “I’ll pray for you,” to which she whispered back, “Thank you.”

She left my store that day to fight an enemy from within–breast cancer. She was the main reason why I walked in  Race for the Cure last year, and I have yet to tell her.

Some days, not often, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen to stay on a pre-med track in college. If I didn’t succumb to the sweet siren call of being an English literature major. I wonder what I’d be doing if I’d finished my application to The Radcliffe Publishing course (now simply called the Columbia Publishing course) hosted in Columbia University.

It’s funny how I seem to ask these questions and entertain these thoughts when I’m feeling especially sorry for myself. When I’m feeling the most insecure about my life decisions. When I’m feeling kind of like a loser because for all my schooling, all my nerdiness, I only amounted to a store manager of a specialty retail store. Like my job title has any bearing on my worth. (Does that mean I’d feel more important if I became a doctor like I’d originally planned?)

Of course, if I I’d taken those paths, I may not have met my now husband. I wouldn’t have married him on a beach on Maui. We wouldn’t be living our version of This Old House. And, I wouldn’t have become a store manager who made friends with one of her customers and became someone she can cry on during a bleak moment in her life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not spouting empowered, “If you believe, you’ll achieve” vibes every moment of my life. Being a store manager is hard work, plain and simple. It drains your mind, body, and soul. I never see my family during times families usually meet (like holidays). But, I have learned what it means to exercise kindness; to act on my sympathy; and to go beyond “feeling bad” about XYZ to actually doing something about XYZ. I don’t need an “I’m a Missionary” or “I’m a Doctor” badge to reach outside myself and make someone else’s day a little bit brighter.

At work, we often observe that the best and worst part of our job is the customer. There are days when they can make you feel worthless, less than the dirt stuck to the bottom of their shoe. But then there are those that cling to you like a friend and make you feel like you matter. Like your presence in their life, however infinitesimally short, meant something to them.

I know it’s ridiculously self-serving of me to even think about this, but knowing that I matter to someone for even a brief moment makes me feel like I made the right life choices after all. That it validated that one moment back in 1999 when I dropped the “Biology major” from my double major course load, and decided to pursue only English. I can still see my course advisor’s face and still remember him telling me that I wouldn’t amount to much with an English degree. I’d like to think that the people I’ve helped in my work would beg to differ. And, to me, that’s enough.

Recently, I watched This Means War, and in it one of the characters says that there are no mistakes. Every choice, every regret, makes us who we are today. We just need to accept where we are and move on from there. Or, as Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots going forward. Only backward.”

I used to wonder, “I need to find another job.” Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned to tell myself, “I’m here for a reason, and I’m exactly where I need to be.”

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Posting today for The Kindness Project:

Be sure to check them out :D We post the second Wednesday of every month. Want to join us? Grab our button and spread a little kindness.

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