Tag Archives: Maui

The Kindness Project: Finding Validation Through Kindness

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{About the Kindness Project–Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good.  But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren’t feeling entirely whole . It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts.}

I haven’t seen one of my favorite regular customers in a long time. I think it’s been over a year now. The last time I saw her, we hugged for a long minute on my sales floor, at the end of which I whispered in her ear, “I’ll pray for you,” to which she whispered back, “Thank you.”

She left my store that day to fight an enemy from within–breast cancer. She was the main reason why I walked in  Race for the Cure last year, and I have yet to tell her.

Some days, not often, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen to stay on a pre-med track in college. If I didn’t succumb to the sweet siren call of being an English literature major. I wonder what I’d be doing if I’d finished my application to The Radcliffe Publishing course (now simply called the Columbia Publishing course) hosted in Columbia University.

It’s funny how I seem to ask these questions and entertain these thoughts when I’m feeling especially sorry for myself. When I’m feeling the most insecure about my life decisions. When I’m feeling kind of like a loser because for all my schooling, all my nerdiness, I only amounted to a store manager of a specialty retail store. Like my job title has any bearing on my worth. (Does that mean I’d feel more important if I became a doctor like I’d originally planned?)

Of course, if I I’d taken those paths, I may not have met my now husband. I wouldn’t have married him on a beach on Maui. We wouldn’t be living our version of This Old House. And, I wouldn’t have become a store manager who made friends with one of her customers and became someone she can cry on during a bleak moment in her life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not spouting empowered, “If you believe, you’ll achieve” vibes every moment of my life. Being a store manager is hard work, plain and simple. It drains your mind, body, and soul. I never see my family during times families usually meet (like holidays). But, I have learned what it means to exercise kindness; to act on my sympathy; and to go beyond “feeling bad” about XYZ to actually doing something about XYZ. I don’t need an “I’m a Missionary” or “I’m a Doctor” badge to reach outside myself and make someone else’s day a little bit brighter.

At work, we often observe that the best and worst part of our job is the customer. There are days when they can make you feel worthless, less than the dirt stuck to the bottom of their shoe. But then there are those that cling to you like a friend and make you feel like you matter. Like your presence in their life, however infinitesimally short, meant something to them.

I know it’s ridiculously self-serving of me to even think about this, but knowing that I matter to someone for even a brief moment makes me feel like I made the right life choices after all. That it validated that one moment back in 1999 when I dropped the “Biology major” from my double major course load, and decided to pursue only English. I can still see my course advisor’s face and still remember him telling me that I wouldn’t amount to much with an English degree. I’d like to think that the people I’ve helped in my work would beg to differ. And, to me, that’s enough.

Recently, I watched This Means War, and in it one of the characters says that there are no mistakes. Every choice, every regret, makes us who we are today. We just need to accept where we are and move on from there. Or, as Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots going forward. Only backward.”

I used to wonder, “I need to find another job.” Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned to tell myself, “I’m here for a reason, and I’m exactly where I need to be.”

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Posting today for The Kindness Project:

Be sure to check them out :D We post the second Wednesday of every month. Want to join us? Grab our button and spread a little kindness.

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And It’s Leap Day

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One of my mini-goals before the next Leap Year.

So, I felt the need to blog today. As if I needed to put a stamp on this day to recognize that yes, indeed, it’s a 29th day in February and that a 29th day in February is a Rare Day that needs to be Memorialized and Celebrated. Or something.

At any rate, in honor of the fact that I can only really write “February 29″ every four years, I’ll share 20 mini-goals toward my big life goals that I WILL make happen by the next Leap Year. I’d write 29, you know, because of The Significance that is Today, but as you’ll see, I already had these 20 mini-goals in mind, and I didn’t want to spend extra time making up nine more, when I could be accomplishing the goals on my current list. Like the first one. I’m sure my crit partners would like for me to get on that one, like now.

(Plus, I kinda hate nines and prefer round numbers.)

In no particular order, except for #1:

  1. Finish WIP2. Query it.
  2. Meet my writing buddies at DFW Con. Be accountable.
  3. Go to my paythebills job Event this year (a BIG deal, trust me!). Be inspired. Go next year.
  4. Go to World Fantasy Con. Be a Fan Girl.
  5. Write and finish WIP5. Because it’s snarky yet sweet.
  6. Write and finish WIP4. Because it’s an overwhelmingly huge fantasy novel, and I love challenges.
  7. Write and finish WIP3. Because it reminds me to forgive.
  8. Rewrite my Hot Mess of a first novel. Because by now I will have the skill to execute its storyline.
  9. Be credit card free. Being able to give generously to people means more to me than amounting crap I don’t need.
  10. Read all of Haruki Murakami’s books. Because his stories are what I want to write, but lack the skill.
  11. Revisit the idea of going to graduate school.
  12. Go on a Disney cruise with my family. Because I want to visit Harry Potter World. I said it.
  13. Grow a vegetable garden. Because paying $4 for a salad is ridiculous.
  14. Return to Maui. Hopefully a few times. Refresh my spirits.
  15. Go on a mission trip. Maybe Brazil, or back to the Philippines.
  16. Learn to surf. For real.
  17. Road trip to more national parks. I missed out on Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone Park the last time.
  18. 90% of my food will come from local, organic sources. For reasons too numerous to share here.
  19. Own a puppy. Because my husband has this need to love and be loved.
  20. Continue to meet my physical fitness goals. Because it’s more fun to DO these things in a body that can keep up with my travel goals!

What milestones are on your list?

Image attribution: Shalom Jacobovitz

Seasons of Inspiration

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Tornado Warning

Image by RaGardner4 via Flickr

Here in Indiana, weather is…unpredictable.  The calendar may say that we are firmly in the spring season, but nature has its own ideas.

Last week, I…

…hid in the basement during a tornado warning.

…took pictures of hail pelting my car.

…pulled on my fuzzy boots because it snowed. Again.

…woke up in the middle of the night as a thunderstorm rolled in and I thought a tree crashed through my roof. (That’s happened before.  Twice.  So, you can understand my paranoia.)

…basked in beautiful sunshine as I ate my lunch outside, to the delight of my sun-starved skin.

It’s both awe-inspiring and humbling to see the influence that nature has on us and how we in turn, respond to it.

I have been working on a couple of Works In Progress now, which isn’t as confusing as it seems since they’re so different and are at different stages.  My first WIP is in a revision stage, and honestly, I plan to focus on it more this month than my second WIP, which is only in the rough draft stage.  So even though first WIP gets more of my structured writing time, I still let my muses play with second WIP during random times like driving to work or while my store is empty.  That’s the beauty of a rough draft: unbridled creativity and imagination.

My first WIP, I started writing in the fall during NaNoWriMo.  It’s dark and disjointed and looking back, probably reflected the madcap emotional turbulence of both NaNoWriMo and working through two retail jobs during the holiday season.   My second WIP was born on a bitter morning, the bleak winter landscape a perfect setting for a character filled with the helplessness, anger, and resentment that biting, sub-zero temperatures can create.

This week,though, something odd happened as I drove to work.  Well, two things really.  First, because of extremely gusty winds (I’m talking blow-you-into-the-next-lane-without-warning gusts), I ended up driving 5-10 miles under the speed limit.  (No comment on my normal driving speed.)  Second, I realized that I was dreaming up words for another WIP.

Now, this bout of inspiration didn’t just happen.  The WIP my muses brought to mind is one that I’ve had in the back burner for basically my whole life, but I have never dared to capture it in words.  My current WIPs were born out of fun ideas that I followed to their inevitable conclusions.  They are exercises in my mental stamina and discipline to finish a task. This other WIP, though…it’s different.

This WIP (which for clarity we’ll call third WIP) matters the most to me because it encompasses all of my unspoken fears, hopes, loves, dreams.  It’s basically a straight window into my soul.  As such, even thinking about it both inspires me and intimidates me.  I’m too emotionally invested in it, which is why I never felt like I can write it the way it needs to be written.  The way it deserves to be written.  So, I’ve gotten used to just ignoring it.

But then, the wind whipped just right and I imagined a curling wave.  The humidity and warmth reached a specific threshold and I delighted in memories of tropical sun showers.  My cautious wariness of other cars brought to mind the winding road to Hana (on Maui).

Now, I can’t help but wonder: should I follow my muses into this third WIP?

SO TELL ME: I know writers find inspiration everywhere, but do YOU have seasonal “moods” when it comes to your WIP? Do YOU find yourself reading a book or genre during specific times of year because it “felt” more like summer or winter?

A Follow Up

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So, I mentioned before that I was interviewing for a new position with my current company.  After my third interview, one of the recruiters offered a position that was different from what I was originally interviewing for.  Long story short, I declined the position, and have gracefully (I hope) bowed out of the interviewing process.

I’m at peace with the decision, knowing that the hubs can focus on finishing the house renovations like he wants and therefore, we’ll be able to refinance and be in a better place, financially speaking.  Besides, hubs promised that whether I got this position or not, we would be in Hawaii in a few months.

Thank you to those who have cheered me on. Please know that I’m content, and currently dreaming of tropical weather and pummeling ocean waves.

Aloha.

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