Janus

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As janus rostrum okretu ciach

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I think it’s fitting that I’m born in the month named for the god of beginnings.

I love change.  I love new ideas, new initiatives.  Which is great when I see that I need to formulate new action plans to get to my desired results.  Not so great when I know the course direction is straight ahead, and the pace is slow and steady.

I’ve been working on my current Work in Progress for some time now.  It was my NaNoWriMo story, and though I’ve only been shaping it since November, I’d been thinking about it for some months before that.  I even thought that I could write one story before November, and write another one for NaNoWriMo.  Easy, breezy.

So, in September, I did attempt to write this story.  And then, 10,000 words later I stopped, feeling too discouraged to continue.

Then, I decided to re-plot this story.

Again.

And, again.

Each time I had a different history.  Different characters.  Different worlds. Different story.

Then, October rolled around, and I decided to plan out my story, scene by scene because this time, I was not only going to start a novel, but also finish one.

And I did.  And I’m happy.  Believe me.

But I’m also tired of it.  I admit it.  I have other random story ideas that I’ve dutifully written down, and have neglected in favor of writing and finishing this one.  I’ve kept my head down, and continued scribbling on the Hot Mess, though the want for something new and shiny is always there, clamoring for attention just outside my consciousness.  (I hear the waves breaking against the shore from the setting of another story as I type this blog.)

I know that I need to continue to do what I know was successful, in order to sustain the change that I want to make in my life.  I need to look behind, to what has passed, for perspective, so that I can look ahead and press on down my path.

But Tell Me: Would pursuing some of those bright, shiny story ideas be such a bad thing at this point? What would YOU do?

Write it Out

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Notebooks

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Sometimes, I have trouble saying what I mean.  I either fumble my words or go into a meandering stream of “likes” and “you know’s” as I float toward what it is I meant to say.

Usually, I’m at my fumbliest when I lack proper sleep and rest.  You can imagine how bumbly I was at the height of the holiday season when sleep was at its lowest and the people interactions were at its highest.  It’s like my mouth was falling down the stairs.

All that to say…

This past week was more challenging than usual in terms of writing.  I know this may be contrary to say, but it’s like I had too many words.  I wanted to address so many things in my Work In Progress (aka, The Hot Mess) that the words got clogged somewhere in the assembly line that starts with my brain elves tinkering with ideas, and then shooting those ideas down through my fingers to become inked words on paper.

Most of the time, a morning session of stream of consciousness writing can get me to push past that clog and get the assembly line back in working order.  This time, though, was the first time in a long time that I found I had nothing to say.

I tried writing on my laptop.  I tried scribbling in my notebook.  I tried writing in different environments.  I even tried writing other things, like new pages for my blog.

Nothing.

The malaise in writing culminated to yesterday, when I had the day off to catch up on my writing, a habit I adopted from my NaNoWriMo days.  The only thing I seemed to have words for were crits for my friend, WookiesGirl.  Though I had plenty of comments in my crits for her, I could barely write the email that went along with those crits.  (I also owe Melissa an email about my WIP.)

Then, I encountered this post and just shook my head.

I was so focused on getting something for my WIP that I forgot the very reason why I started Novel-writing in the first place: to have fum.

Sure, I have goals, and I like to achieve them.  But the reason why I started my goal was the fun and joy of writing and creating new worlds and characters.  I enjoyed the challenge of it.

However, I became so focused on it, that I didn’t give my brain elves random things to work with.  Heck, I didn’t even give them time to rest and recharge.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.-Kahlil Gibran

So, yesterday, I read without guilt.  I tweeted without guilt.  I watched Firefly and Avatar: The Last Airbender, Book 2.  I had dinner with my husband, and laughed at how awesome we are.

And, when I got to my desk this morning, a torrent of words splashed on to the page.  I couldn’t scribble fast enough.

So, Tell Me: How do you revive your muse?

Across the Universe: A Gift For Me, A Gift For You

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A Gift for Me.

My birthday is next week.

For at least a decade, I have celebrated a birthday week  or month.  This year, I am very honored to share a Birthday Season with Kayla Olson (Happy Birthday Season!! *glitter shower*), AND with Beth Revis’s debut novel, Across the Universe.

“Nothing’s going to change my world…” Across the Universe, The Beatles

This past November, I had the privilege of reading the ARC of Across the Universe, thanks to Melissa and Kayla’s thoughtfulness.  I remember my delight when my mail-(wo)man hand-delivered the packaged ARC because she didn’t want to scrunch it in my mailbox.  I tore that priority mail envelope open, took a picture, had dinner with The Hubs, and then  proceeded to read that story that night (and into the next day).  I was behind about 5,000 words for NaNoWriMo at that point, but believe me, the lack of sleep, and adding an extra kamikaze do-or-die writing day for NaNoWriMo, was worth it.

(To see how The Want started, read this post by Melissa; The Want intensified after seeing this tribute by Kayla.  Also, see the aftermath of the time I totally made the universe give Melissa an ARC here.  I have actual magical powers.)

In a word, Across the Universe is luminous.  It is an absolute pleasure to read.  Everything about it appeals to me, from the beautiful (purple-y!) cover, to the Firefly influences, to the fact that it is set to launch 1.11.11.  All these things (and more) made this book the perfect 2011 birthday present to myself.

Since I can’t seem to post a non-spoiler review, I invite you to click here to read the summary of the book on Beth’s site. And, you can read chapter one here, and judge for yourself the buzz worthiness of this book.

Sidenote:

Admittedly, I have come across a lot of fabulous books throughout my reading career.  But, the tipping point for me in supporting this book is the author herself, Beth Revis.  She is a fantastic author role model, and constantly engages with her readers through social networks.  Also, reading about her career transition from full-time teacher to full-time novelist earned her my undying loyalty, respect and admiration. Read about it here.

A Gift For You.

So, in honor of Happy Birthday Season (*confetti*), and because I love Across The Universe, and admire Beth so much, I will run my blog’s VERY FIRST GIVEAWAY.

The prize?  A copy of Across the Universe. (have you seen the reversible cover??)

Amy's or Elder's perspective...you decide!

Because this is my VERY FIRST GIVEAWAY and since it’s Happy Birthday Season, I am opening this GIVEAWAY to international readers, too. *waves to international readers* *I wish I were multilingual*

Rules (because they’re fun!):

To enter this GIVEAWAY for a chance to receive your very own copy of Across the Universe, simply subscribe to this blog using that “subscribe me” button to the right, AND leave me a comment below!  That’s it!  You will be entered into the drawing.  (Previously subscribed blog friends are of course eligible, too! Just leave me a comment below to let me know you want to be entered into the fun!)

I will begin counting entries TODAY Monday, January 10, 2011 12:00 AM EST until January 17, 2011 11:59 PM EST (My birthday, whatwhat!)

You MUST be subscribed to this blog and comment below to enter this contest.

(Please make sure your email address is correct.  If I don’t get a reply within 24 hours of contacting you, I will move on to the next winner.  I want to send out the book to the winner no later than Wednesday, January 19, 2011, so PLEASE ensure I can contact you!)

You can earn SIX ADDITIONAL entries* by:

1. Following me on Twitter

2. Following Beth Revis on Twitter

3. Tweeting about this contest

4. “Like”-ing Across the Universe on Facebook

5. Blogging about this contest (worth 2 entries)

Maximum entries: SEVEN

*This is on you honor.  Just leave a comment below for every entry you’ve earned.  (For example, if you “Like”-d Across the Universe on Facebook, followed Beth on Twitter, and blogged about this contest, you would leave four separate comments in addition to the one telling me that you are subscribed to this blog and want to be entered into the contest.  So, in this example, you would have earned five entries, so you would enter a total of five separate comments.)

** Previous Twitter followers and Facebook likers are also eligible for your extra entries!  Just leave me a comment per entry on this post!

The winner will be chosen via random.org (which is why you should ensure that each entry is in its own comment box.)

Gratitude

Thank you for celebrating Birthday Week with me (and Kayla and Across the Universe!).  It gives me great joy and happiness to be able to give what little I can back to the reading world that has nurtured me for so long.

And, depending on the level of participation I get here, I will do more giveaways like this in the future.

Tell Me: What upcoming releases are YOU looking forward to THIS year? (I may include it in future giveaways! :D)

All That Twitters Is Not Gold

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“Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique.”

I love Twitter.

However, when I first started tweeting, I was a bit intimidated.  After all, I’m a little nobody in this little corner of the world.  What right do I have to talk about myself?  Moreover, why would I expect anyone else to care?

http://twitter.com/#!/shilpiiz/status/13977719037501440

It should come as no surprise, then, that I was once a wallflower in the Twitter dance, marveling at the other glittering tweeps, who seemed to know all the steps.  My one-sided relationship with Twitter involved getting the latest news from my fitness gurus; laughing at (but not replying to) a self-deprecating tweet; and, in general, being a spectator. Eventually, I realized that I actually should be interacting with these tweeps: that I was expected to give feedback, share a tweep’s news/updates that I thought particularly compelling and generally, put as much into Twitter as I was getting from it.

http://twitter.com/#!/CtKscribe/status/27074847500

I remember the first time that I interacted with Christina Kingston (@CtKScribe).  She came highly recommended by Clement Yeung (@clementyeung), and after a few clicks around her website, I found her to be fresh and witty, and her social network skills were truly enviable.  I had to follow her.

Along with being a social media goddess, she has a heart of gold.  She was the first person to include me in a group conversation, which even now continues.  I’m so grateful for that interaction, because through it (and her), I had the privilege to know and meet such supportive, loving, and, of course, fun ladies.  I began to learn Twitter’s full potential and realize that even though it was (and is) a lot of fun, I can also use it to create lasting friendships with people who actually care about my goals.  People who remind me that I am not alone.  They are definitely golden threads in my Twitter experiences.

“All that glisters is not gold.” Prince of Morocco, Merchant of Venice, Shakespeare

Naturally, the more I interacted on Twitter, the more friends (I hate saying “followers”) I acquired.  I love meeting new people, and finding seemingly like-minded writers is especially thrilling.  So thrilling, in fact, that I overlooked some…quirks (constant self-promotion and ambiguous RTs to name a few) in favor of being friends.  After all, these people had more followers, more tweets, more gravitas, than I did, so who was I to unfollow them? Thankfully, I got over that thought quickly, and was able to see past the false glistening of some when compared to the truly golden on Twitter.

“A gentle riddance.” Portia, Merchant of Venice, Shakespeare

Twitter is my fun experience, something completely voluntary, and I don’t need to interact, follow, or associate with people who are negative or who produce negative feelings in me.  I am no longer worried about the repercussions of pressing the “Unfollow” button, because honestly, life is too short to waste on what is the equivalent to voluntary spam, especially when I have such great people in my life with whom I’d rather invest my time.

When I think about where I’ve drawn inspiration from over this past year, I realize how grateful I am to these golden threads I follow on Twitter.  They have motivated and supported me toward my goals, some of which I never thought I’d achieve.  They are the ones that matter, and to whom I’m truly indebted.  Sharing the people who have made the most impact in my thinking is just a small way for me to give gratitude and joy back to them.

What impact has social media had in your life?

[This post is tangential to my Across the Twitterverse series.  Other posts include: Thursday Thoughts: on Twitter (yes I know it’s Friday); Across The Twitterverse: The Lists; Across the Twitterverse: The Retweet.  They don’t need to be read in order but it may be nice to see where I’m coming from.]

2011. The Year of No Excuses

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In 2010, I turned thirty.

For some people this may mean nothing more than another year of getting older. But, as a person who loves round numbers, and who doesn’t automatically attribute age with physical decay, “2010” and “30” came with their own sense of significance. Something important HAD to happen.

So, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, I made sure that my thirtieth year was filled with noteworthy milestones. Eminent among those achievements were that I lost the 20 pounds that I gained when I was 29, becoming as lean as I ever was.  And, I finished a story.


Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
Thoreau

I’ll never forget the night that I discovered that not only can I do chin ups, but that I could do five of them in a row. Me. A girl who never thought she could do one, so why bother trying. I was elated.  I was bursting with a desire to do more, fueled by the idea that I could accomplish anything with enough focus, determination, and pure grit-my-teeth effort.

In that moment, I saw another universe unfold, one in which I attained all the goals that I gave myself simply because I decided to pursue them.   I was giddy with this knowledge.

Standing there in the gym that night, I literally asked myself: what’s stopping me?


I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

The Litany Against Fear, Dune, Frank Herbert

In my moment of clarity, I had to acknowledge that nothing was stopping me now, and if I thought about it, nothing was ever in my way to stop me from my life goals. Nothing but myself. I was the one stopping me from reaching my goals. By choosing not to act I made the choice not to pursue my dreams.

I was the one who decided that my goals were not attainable.  But, I was also the one who can make them attainable.

It was that point that I started to act. I simplified my life. I focused on finishing a novel. And, along the way, I found peace. Despite the challenges, I was content because I knew that I was finally pursuing a goal that I was passionate about.

Though my novel is not anywhere near presentable, it’s finished, a feat that I never thought I’d see.  Half a year from my gym moment, I’m affectionately calling my work in progress The Hot Mess. It should be ready for my alpha reader soon; I want to have it beta-ready by February.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Thoreau

I had so many words to hold on to and encourage me through 2010.  Words like…

…Simplify…

…Focus…

…Invictus.

These words are still meaningful to me, and so I will carry them with me into this new year.  Because this time, they hold not only the promise of goals achieved, but also a reminder of the results that come from living without excuses.

That is what I claim for 2011. A whole year of no excuses as I press on toward my goals.  Let’s do this.