Tag: Liza Kane

My Dream Well

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A shaft of sunlight penetrates the dense fores...

Image via Wikipedia

My muses have a beautiful Dream Space to play in.

They spend most of their time on a lovely ocean-y beach that’s connected to a dense, canopied forest. In that forest is a Dream Well. My muses gather and weave together random snippets of inspiration from this Dream Well  to create dreamscapes that will eventually become a part of the Space. Sometimes, the dreamscape is laugh out loud surreal. Other times, it’s so dark and malformed, that the muses need to burn away its memory, and send its ashes into the vast ocean before it can taint their space. Usually, though, the muses enjoy creating more and more dreamscapes, knowing that the more vibrant and rich the dreams are, the more their Space will expand.

Between my voracious reading habit, and working in the service industry, I usually have enough daily doses of inspiration to add to the Dream Well. I even take one full day each week completely devoted to reading, scribbling, and whatever else will keep the Well full and exciting. But, last week has been too full of trips to urgent care for the husband, meetings for the paythebills job, and sleepless (read: dreamless) nights, so, my Dream Well is kind of stale and stagnant for the moment.

Today will be filled with active dreaming and giving my muses more to play with than business meetings. On the agenda will be the last few episodes of Fringe that I missed, followed by a stack of books that I got from the library.

While I dream up more words for my worlds, here are some blog posts that have recently motivated me in some way…

“The Book I Shouldn’t Be Writing” via Natalie Whipple

“Why Waste a Second Not Loving Who You Are” via Debbie Burns

“Tough Life Lessons” via Jessica Love

“Always Go For The Leather” via Michele Shaw

Leveraging My Strengths

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Cover of "StrengthsFinder 2.0"

Cover of StrengthsFinder 2.0

A few months ago, I had the privilege of reading StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath for my paythebills job. The book is based on the premise that when people are aware of their strengths, and the strengths of those around them, they can begin to live a balanced and fulfilled life.

The book itself is set up with a short introduction of how the researchers developed the StrengthsFinder assessment tool, followed by a detailed description of the 34 talent themes in which those strengths are expressed. The part of the book that matters? The access code sealed in the back of the book that allows you to take the assessment online.

Honestly, I’m the ridiculous nerd that enjoys things like this, and I was honestly excited to see what my top five themes were. Considering that my top theme is Input, I obviously enjoyed the fact that I had words to attribute to all the nerdy things I do. For example, the Input theme states that I am inquisitive and like to collect things (information, items, whatever). I rolled my eyes at that at first, because I had in mind people like stamp collectors or bug collectors or even scrapbookers. But then, I looked over at my copious Moleskine notebook collection, where each notebook has its own purpose. And, I also remembered a file that I created on EverNote entitled, “Interesting California Names” and realized that yes, I definitely do collect things, and what I collect is information. My favorite line was:

Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives…So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day it will prove valuable.

If that doesn’t scream NERD, I don’t know what does. 🙂

How This All Pertains To Me Now

Anyway, I was thinking more about my strengths this week. I was floundering a bit, trying to find direction or headway in my WIP, and may have been procrastinating by rereading passages of Bird by Bird and On Writing. Then, I noticed StrengthsFinder on my desk, and decided to give that a reread as well. When I got to my Achiever theme, I started to wake up a little.

You have an internal fire burning inside you…Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges…It is the theme that keeps you moving.

I asked myself on Wednesday why I write. Why do I bother working on a story that feels too big for me. I answered with the blogpost, “Why I Write.” I appreciated my friends reminding me of the reasons why I want to tell The Story. Because, yes, I believe those reasons, and they are true for me.

But, honestly…I think why I pursue writing is a lot simpler for me. I write because I can, and because I chose that as a goal. I write because it became The Skill that I want to master. I always return to The Story simply because I need to finish it. This is who I am. I am that sick fool that looks for challenges and seeks the uncomfortable. I recognize that these challenges, and the overcoming of them, gives me a sense of purpose and satisfaction with my life. This fire that gives me the discontent to keep pursuing my goals is the reason itself for me to write.

It’s how I do. 😉

I created a new affirmation yesterday, and I will keep it with me for a while:

I AM WRITING THIS STORY BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN.

*For the curious, my top themes are Input, Learner, Intellection, Achiever, Ideation.

Why I Write

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Hands

When I was really focused on my fitness goals, I put up pictures of my version of an “ideal body” to give me the visual I needed to continue on my fitness path. I also internalized motivational quotes and used a lot of focusing techniques to keep me driven to reach my goals. Though ripped abs and ever increasing weights are not the central focus in my life, I still have an awesome graphic of a strong woman doing squats as my computer’s desktop image. It comes complete with this statement: “A firm behind like mine comes from the old school leg exercises–deadlift, squat, and lunge.” (For the curious, I stumbled on the pic at Jen Grasso’s Renegade Fitness website here.) I keep this image up to remind me that I have reached my goals before, and to use that success to fuel the success in other areas of my life.

So far, this action plan is working. I am writing and learning more about the process and myself each and every day. However, there are times when I’m just plain tired. Tired of life, or being my own personal cheerleader, whatever. And, though I parallel my writing journey to my fitness journey a LOT, the one thing that doesn’t quite fit is the “pay off” that comes from doing something even when I don’t want to do it.

For example, when I don’t want to train for whatever reason, I could always coax myself to do something which inevitably snowballs into a really good training session. The pay off was, once I started moving I physically felt better (yay endorphins!). Plus, I got great feedback visually because week after week, the result of the constant training was a stronger, more svelte figure. Easy straightforward science.

On the other hand, writing isn’t quite so straightforward. Sure, I can go off of pure word/page counts. And, I do kinda feel like the god of my own universe when stuff starts working and flowing. But, those times that aren’t quite working…when consecutive writing sessions aren’t adding to the story at all despite growing word counts…I begin to feel like…what’s the point?

Why show up?

That’s the feeling that I started with today. Though I was on fire to write yesterday, a long day (which stretched into 5:30AM this morning) turned my writing mindset for today from “on fire” to “blah.”

http://twitter.com/#!/lizakane/status/70872609486671872

Thankfully, a few of my darling NerdSquad members were on Twitter, and gave this little pep talk:

http://twitter.com/#!/AnnieLCechini/status/70873419503239169
http://twitter.com/#!/AnnieLCechini/status/70873538491461633
http://twitter.com/#!/AnnieLCechini/status/70873729231618048
http://twitter.com/#!/AnnieLCechini/status/70874014679179264
http://twitter.com/#!/AnnieLCechini/status/70874179137830913

And of course, I reminded myself of what Margaret Atwood tweeted at me a few months ago:

http://twitter.com/#!/MargaretAtwood/status/33273959608745984

On a usual day, I absolutely love the challenge of working through my WIP, either ripping it apart or adding scenes or both. But sometimes, there are days when I’m tempted more than usual to stop progressing. Days that I forget that dreaming up worlds and using words to paint a picture of them is the goal in itself. That I don’t need approval or permission to write; that even if I stop writing, I would invariably return to it (and curse the misspent time of my writing hiatus).

On those days, I’m so grateful to those who walk this path with me to remind me of why I write, and gain strength and encouragement from that.

“When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, when you can’t do that…you find someone to carry you.”

The Message, Firefly

A Year

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A year ago, I wrote this:

I’ve been 30 for nearly four months now, and quite honestly, have enjoyed this year so far.  I’ve burned off the fat that I needed to, I’m writing again, and at this point, my only regret is that I didn’t do this 5 years ago.

I know it’s stupid and a little trite, but the proverb that, at the end of your life, you only regret what you haven’t done, has been playing itself in the recesses of my mind lately.  Knowing how to balance patience and consistency while moving in the direction of my dreams will be the skill I will need to cultivate.  Hopefully, I don’t make myself crazy in the process.  But, more importantly, I don’t want to be in the same place next year as I am now.  Each step needs to take me closer to my goals, and in a year, I will achieve my goal of finishing a story.

This post was my very first post on this blog. I was high from a successful year at my paythebills job, and from regaining my ideal body composition. I worked really hard at both, and saw the fruits of my labor. I was happy. I reached my goals. But, strangely, I was still restless. I was not content. And I think reaching those other goals only increased the discontent.

Before this post, I only dreamed of writing a novel. I toyed with the idea for years (YEARS!), but that was something Other People did. Not me. Besides, I wasn’t smart enough, experienced enough, good enough, whatever enough to write a novel, so why bother?

A year ago, my mindset shifted. I obviously CAN reach goals. Actually, if I was honest with myself, I have always reached goals. I just never set myself up to choose goals that mattered to me. And writing mattered to me.

So, instead of “Why bother?” the question became, “Why not?” If I can spend so much time and energy to achieve goals that, at the end of the day, I don’t really care about, why not chase after The Goal that I’ve been dreaming about for years?

A year ago, I said this: “I don’t want to be in the same place next year as I am now.” Now, let’s see how far I’ve traveled on my writerly path.

A year ago, I cringed at the thought of anyone knowing that I was trying to write a novel. Or, even be identified as A Writer. Now, I embrace that identity. I am a writer.

A year ago, I started several novels, but was easily discouraged from finishing any of them. Now, I have a novel, WIP1, which is now in the revision phase, and am drafting WIP2.

A year ago, I was overwhelmed with low writerly self-esteem, and pre-rejected myself from submitting my writing to anyone (even to potential writing partners…I felt I was doing them a kindness). Now, I’m writing some short works to submit to various publications. And, my writing partners will be getting part 1 of WIP1 shortly.

A year ago, I felt very much alone (which is probably why I was so easily discouraged!). Now, I have amazing writer friends who I met through the magic of social networks. I even went to an annual writer’s conference last week and chatted with Other Writers about books and stories and other nerdy things. (Indiana SCBWI’s annual conference…highlights of that conference coming soon!)

I’m so thankful for this past year, and look forward to another year of progress toward my goal.

Thank you for your company on this journey.

What I Know About Writer’s Conferences

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Basically, nothing. And, this is where you can help me! Yay! *confetti*

This weekend (April 29-30), I’ll be attending my very first writer’s conference: Indiana SCBWI’s Annual Conference.

I know I should look at this from a networking stand point, and take advantage of being around editors, agents, and fellow writers, but being the nerd I am, I’m just so ridiculously excited to go to the sessions, and take lots of notes! *shiny notebook and pens* *check*

Ok, ok, of COURSE I’ll hang out, circulate, and meet-and-greet with all The People, because that’s really where you get the experience and learning, and let’s face it: I DO love meeting new people. (BONUS: I get to meet some of my Twitter and Blog friends there too! *waves hi to Alina, Carol, Clara, and Michele*)

I just like feeling like a student again, and embrace any opportunity to re-live studenthood.

And, I’m an irrepressible nerd. Truth.

So Tell Me: do YOU have any writer’s conference tips you’d like to share with this newbie? What should I bring? And, more importantly, what should I wear?? ^_^