I decided to participate in this flash fiction challenge because I wanted to give life to a WIP that I’d abandoned over a year ago. I simply called my WIP “Red” because it was influenced in part by this photo, posted here with permission by the artist, Robin Barcus Slonina.
I hope to explore this WIP again, one day.
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Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: “the door swung shut.” (also included in the word count) For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
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The door swung open.
Calla turned as a trio of withered crones swept into her room. They were her newly appointed attendants, bound to serve her, the House Prime’s new Cabochon. Her new title.
His new pet, he called her. She seethed at those remembered words.
I was once a cherished wife. I am no one’s pet.
The crones bowed low before approaching her, displaying more grace than she expected. They bore the marks of their class status, their genetic weakness, formed after the sundering of the world. After the ash fall separated the weak from the strong. The Withered from the Hale.
They worked quickly to remove her wedding gown despite the twisted claws they had for hands, the breathers fused to their mouths whirring with each labored breath.
Too soon, Calla stood in nothing but a whisper of cloth.
“Leave us.”
Calla startled at his voice. The crones retreated. She turned toward him, feeling the weight of his leer from across the room. She steeled herself against it, her face a peaceful mask.
He sneered, a promise of what this night would hold. She shivered, but stood her ground. He stalked toward her as the door swung shut.
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[If you liked this flash fiction, you can “like” it here. I’m number 333. ^_^]
Liza Kane 
I “liked” it. And also loved it. Well done, Liza. Lots of emotion and tension packed into one short piece. The crones are super creepy! It all makes me curious about the larger story.
This made my skin crawl. I so felt for her. Would love to read more about this world.
This is fantastic. I would totally read on…wow, I hope you make this part of a book.
First off, the picture is gorgeous! No doubt about it, this would make a great novel. I say revisit it!
Also I wanted to say hi! I am one of your dystopian campaign buddies. I know I’m pretty slow to getting around, but better late than never:)
I like this! I think you should definitely revisit your WIP! The world sounds facinating and your protag sounds strong and fiesty. 🙂
Thank you for the encouragement! and yes, she is definitely strong 😀
Very original idea.
Thank you for saying, and for stopping by!
*shivers* really creepy I hope she has a weapon under the pillow.
heehee, well, in one version of this story, she killed him. Does that help??
😀
That was great Liza, there was so much tension. It would tease me to pick up the book. I already liked it.
Yay! that gives me a lot of hope! 😀
Thank you! Nice to meet you! 😀
Oooh! I’m glad I’m not her!!! Nice piece!
Thanks for sharing. I liked “I am no one’s pet!”
Thank you for saying, and for stopping by! ^_^
This is truly fantastic! You conveyed so much in such a short flash and really built a whole world with just a breath! Well done dear 🙂
Like I said on Twitter, thank you so much! Your feedback means a lot to me! xoxo
Hello – I’m one of the judges for the first round of this challenge. I’m here to let you know that you’ve made the short list to go through to the next round. There will be another semi-final and then a final round before the winning entry is selected.
Congratulations!
Oh, wow! Thanks for letting me know! So exciting 😀
Great world-building in this piece!
My entry.
Thank you! I enjoyed yours, too! ^_^
Very powerful! I love the imagery in this. You have managed to convey a lot of information about this world and its inhabitants in very few words – nicely done!
Thank you Shelley!
Oooh, suspenseful & dangerous – I like it! Great job, Liza 🙂 You inspire me always to keep up with my writing! @ginamom
Thank you Gina! I think it’s funny that I inspire you to keep writing, since you do the same for me! ^_^
Very exciting. I think that you should revisit it someday. It sounds like it could turn into something very interesting! Best wishes.
Thank you Regina!
Hey, that was honestly very cool 🙂 I also learnt a few things from your piece! The main aspect that made me love it was the dashing mystery about the whole scene that was presented. Great one 🙂
Thank you! I’m glad I could be helpful to you 🙂
Now here is a great story. Totally whetted my appetite for more. Great entry Liza.
Thank you! YOURS was fantastic! ^_^
That was awesome! I hope you write more to her story so I can read it 😀
Thanks Kelly! I’d like to write more one day!
The imagery is wonderful, the worldbuilding superb, and the tension palpable. A fantastic entry.
Thank you so much! and thanks for stopping by! ^_^
This is creepy! I love creepy! 🙂
Great job!
Thanks Jen, and Yay! I’m glad you like the creepy! 😉
Yuk, that doesn’t sound like a fun night for the bride. Mine involves a bride too. i’m #72
No, but she’s strong. Does it help that in one iteration, I had Calla kill him, and she stood trial for it wearing that red dress that marked her as a murderer?
I liked your flash fiction–>great ending!
Suspense, dramatic tension, I like this piece. Hope you continue your WIP.
And if you want to explore the story a bit further and receive encouragement on the way sign up for The Rule of Three Blogfest —a month-long shared-world fiction extravaganza in October with some great prizes, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing. We would welcome Calla to the town of Renaissance!
Thank you for the encouragement! I’ll check out the blog fest, too, thanks for that!
Well done! I’d definitely want to read more. 😉
Thanks John! If I ever get back to that WIP I’ll have you alpha read for me 😉
Great job! It makes me want to read more! 😀 Nice to *meet* you! 😉
Thanks so much! And thanks for stopping by! 😀
Great flash, Liza!
Thank you, my dear! XO 😀
Ugh. I sense her horror. Well done!
Thank you so much! I appreciate the encouragement!
Oooh, I like this one already! Gave me shivers 🙂
Yay for shivers! 😀
Wow, you made me not only want to turn the page, but also go back a few! ; )
That’s encouraging! This WIP’s world was really hard to live in and develop (hence, the abandonment). Hopefully I’ll find my way back to it. 🙂
I love the way you maximized your word meaning, creating a story outside of the scene you are describing!
Thank you, means a lot especially since this world came from a novel I worked on (then abandoned) last year 🙂
OooooOOOOoooooh…*shivers* I like!
❤
heehee, thanks Annie! 😀
Good scene setting. 🙂 I’m left wondering how she got there, and what happens next?
Thank you! Me too! 😉