“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”
Hermann Hesse
So. I have an opportunity to be promoted to another store manager position with my pay the bills company. I’ve decided to let it go.
It’s hard for me to do that. Even writing that I won’t pursue the position was hard. I’m an Achiever, after all, and I need to continue challenging myself, to feel that sense of accomplishment from conquering goals, to feel any sort of satisfaction.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs claims that the summit of motivation theory is self-actualization. It’s the idea of reaching one’s full potential as an individual. This need is never fully satisfied, because there’s always more opportunities to grow. I know I should feel lucky that my only issue in life (at this moment) is my need to grow into my full potential as a human being, answering questions about Life, The Universe, and Everything. Which made me realize: what would have been my reason for going after this other position?
I had to really stop myself and reflect on my true goals. My life goals. And I realized that to pursue this more challenging endeavor would give me the “excuse” of not pouring myself wholeheartedly into novel writing. I had to shift my sense of Achievement from my pay the bills job to my novel.
I know that I can succeed in any position in my company. I know that now. And, to go after a more challenging role would engage and entertain me for a while. But, soon, I’ll be feeling the same way as I feel now: bored, with a side of unfulfilled.
Honestly, I can say that, because I’m bored in my current one. I’m consistently a top performing store manager, and I’m trending to be the #1 store manager in my district again. This is my third full year as a store manager, and my third year as #1. And, up until this year, I had a second part time job and as of last year, a novel to write on top of that. Believe me when I say, I seek out challenging assignments.
This next few months, my challenging assignment is steeling myself against the temptation of “new and different” and allow myself to be bored in a field that fulfills my physiological, safety, social, and esteem needs; because my true area of growth, where I can feel like I’m growing into my full potential, is writing and story-telling. That’s where I need to spend the bulk of my time. That’s the challenge that I need to pursue as doggedly as I would for my pay the bills job. The satisfaction would last longer, I’m sure.
Don’t think too hard
If you think it hurts that bad
Don’t talk about it,
Don’t let it get you down
It’s only one part
Of the story
Just let it go,
Don’t let it bring you down
Now
Sing, the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less
Straighten up your tie,
Take the microphone
Forget about it,
Don’t let it get you down
Now is not the time
And you are not alone,
Shut up about it
No one can bring you down,
Now
Sing, the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less
I’ll be okay
I’ll be okay
If you…
Sing, the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less
The last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less
Liza Kane 
Love this timely post. I’ve been considering options the last few months as well. The instinctual draw for more challenging employment VS staying at a job I know well so I can devote myself to my part-time job of writing. It’s hard not to get pulled into the glitzy lure of a new job, new challenges, bigger salary but deep down, like you, I know the satisfaction would be short lived. While staying where I am at and pursuing my writing is something that I know will lead to long term life fulfillment! Gotta keep the eye on the prize!
GREAT post!
I think this was an incredibly wise, brave move, Liza. Most people wouldn’t have done what you did. But most people also don’t have their goals as clearly defined as you do–I’d say even fewer have such a strong sense of who they are and what they want out of life. It seems to me that you, of all people, are well on your way to achieving your dreams. This was a huge sacrifice, which says so much about your willingness to see this dream carried out–HUGE, HUGE step.
*HUGS* Thank you!! At times, I wonder if I’m being foolish, but I know, KNOW, that I’m making the right decision.
And, if I feel myself begin to falter, I’ll just reread this post, and all these lovely comments ^_^
Yes, you are so right, the journey is not easy, full of challenges, temptations, hard decisions, and sacrifices, but also of delight, savoring progress, dreaming, peace of mind, and knowing that you are on your way. Much success and happiness to you.
The ability to dream and focus on that dream far outweighs the short term praises of a job that’s just, well, a job. Thank you for your well wishes!
Wow, what a brave choice! I’m so proud of you for choosing your writing as a priority 🙂 That can be so hard to do, when other, PAYING jobs present themselves. But the dream is so important. I have a bill paying job also, but of course, writing is the dream. One day our writings will hopefully pay the bills, too!
Absolutely! Thank you so much for the encouragement! To our dreams! *clinks glass*