Tag: Goals

The Art of Letting Go

8 Comments

 

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”

Hermann Hesse

So. I have an opportunity to be promoted to another store manager position with my pay the bills company. I’ve decided to let it go.

It’s hard for me to do that. Even writing that I won’t pursue the position was hard. I’m an Achiever, after all, and I need to continue challenging myself, to feel that sense of accomplishment from conquering goals, to feel any sort of satisfaction.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs claims that the summit of motivation theory is self-actualization. It’s the idea of reaching one’s full potential as an individual. This need is never fully satisfied, because there’s always more opportunities to grow. I know I should feel lucky that my only issue in life (at this moment) is my need to grow into my full potential as a human being, answering questions about Life, The Universe, and Everything. Which made me realize: what would have been my reason for going after this other position?

I had to really stop myself and reflect on my true goals. My life goals. And I realized that to pursue this more challenging endeavor would give me the “excuse” of not pouring myself wholeheartedly into novel writing. I had to shift my sense of Achievement from my pay the bills job to my novel.

I know that I can succeed in any position in my company. I know that now. And, to go after a more challenging role would engage and entertain me for a while. But, soon, I’ll be feeling the same way as I feel now: bored, with a side of unfulfilled.

Honestly, I can say that, because I’m bored in my current one. I’m consistently a top performing store manager, and I’m trending to be the #1 store manager in my district again. This is my third full year as a store manager, and my third year as #1. And, up until this year, I had a second part time job and as of last year, a novel to write on top of that. Believe me when I say, I seek out challenging assignments.

This next few months, my challenging assignment is steeling myself against the temptation of “new and different” and allow myself to be bored in a field that fulfills my physiological, safety, social, and esteem needs; because my true area of growth, where I can feel like I’m growing into my full potential, is writing and story-telling. That’s where I need to spend the bulk of my time. That’s the challenge that I need to pursue as doggedly as I would for my pay the bills job. The satisfaction would last longer, I’m sure.

Don’t think too hard
If you think it hurts that bad
Don’t talk about it,
Don’t let it get you down
It’s only one part
Of the story
Just let it go,
Don’t let it bring you down
Now

Sing, the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less

Straighten up your tie,
Take the microphone
Forget about it,
Don’t let it get you down
Now is not the time
And you are not alone,
Shut up about it
No one can bring you down,
Now

Sing, the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less

I’ll be okay
I’ll be okay
If you…

Sing, the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less
The last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I’ll be the one to keep you
I’ll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
‘Cause I don’t need your mess
I’ll be the one to keep you
One disaster less

A Writer’s Guide To A Healthy and Happy Marriage

Leave a comment

Five years ago, my husband and I found ourselves faced with the opportunity to own a “fixer-upper” house, with the potential to make a profit if we ever decided to sell it. It looked like an easy decision at first: everyone was buying a home, and, supposedly, a home never loses its value.

Yet, instead of leaping at the opportunity, my husband and I visualized what the next few years would look like. We went over the building plans for the house, the financing we were eligible for, and the estimated time it would take for him to do the repairs. For financial purposes, he planned to do most of the construction work himself, which meant that renovating the house would be his full-time occupation, and I would be the primary breadwinner responsible for paying the bills.

After careful deliberation, we bought the house…

* * *

Please continuing reading the post at Courage 2 Create and *share your insights with me there!

(*The comments are moderated, but they’ll eventually appear!) 😀

Work In Progress

18 Comments
Writer's Block

Image by thorinside via Flickr

I haven’t been racking up the page counts as I’d expected to this past week, but then again, I didn’t expect to write much of anything in the month of August knowing how challenging my paythebills job would be this month. So, if I think about it, any progress I made this month is a good thing.

BUT. I still have a goal to get this draft finished by September so that I can get feedback on it from my dear crit partners (*waves hi*).

Seeing that I haven’t made a lot of forward progress in the storyline, I decided to summarize what I had so far, and really think about my MC’s motivations, backstory, basically, evaluating the characters’ goals, why they had them, and what’s stopping them from reaching those goals.

Admittedly, I started out with a lot of nothing.

http://twitter.com/#!/lizakane/status/108737159997042688

And then, Snow Patrol’s Olive Grove Facing the Sea started playing on my Pandora Radio station, which is the first song that I have ever associated with WIP2 back in January. I let myself be transported back in time, and relived the emotion that I wanted to capture. Soon enough, I was able to brainstorm a little and add in little details that I forgot about; I even added in little bits here and there to make the story more logical and believable.

I have a long way to go. Those little bits are not smoothed into the story at all, and I’ve added a lot of [insert something here], but even these little tweaks have helped me stop fixating so much on some issues I’ve had with the beginning, issues that were holding me back from making forward progress because I knew they were there, being all…wrong.

Anyway, I hope that in a few weeks, I’ll be able to report that I’m 85% done with WIP2. Until then, I hope you enjoy some Snow Patrol. I love their live performances, which are sometimes better than their studio recordings. There’s a long introduction here, but he’s funny and cute so please humor him. ^_^

 

A Year

27 Comments

A year ago, I wrote this:

I’ve been 30 for nearly four months now, and quite honestly, have enjoyed this year so far.  I’ve burned off the fat that I needed to, I’m writing again, and at this point, my only regret is that I didn’t do this 5 years ago.

I know it’s stupid and a little trite, but the proverb that, at the end of your life, you only regret what you haven’t done, has been playing itself in the recesses of my mind lately.  Knowing how to balance patience and consistency while moving in the direction of my dreams will be the skill I will need to cultivate.  Hopefully, I don’t make myself crazy in the process.  But, more importantly, I don’t want to be in the same place next year as I am now.  Each step needs to take me closer to my goals, and in a year, I will achieve my goal of finishing a story.

This post was my very first post on this blog. I was high from a successful year at my paythebills job, and from regaining my ideal body composition. I worked really hard at both, and saw the fruits of my labor. I was happy. I reached my goals. But, strangely, I was still restless. I was not content. And I think reaching those other goals only increased the discontent.

Before this post, I only dreamed of writing a novel. I toyed with the idea for years (YEARS!), but that was something Other People did. Not me. Besides, I wasn’t smart enough, experienced enough, good enough, whatever enough to write a novel, so why bother?

A year ago, my mindset shifted. I obviously CAN reach goals. Actually, if I was honest with myself, I have always reached goals. I just never set myself up to choose goals that mattered to me. And writing mattered to me.

So, instead of “Why bother?” the question became, “Why not?” If I can spend so much time and energy to achieve goals that, at the end of the day, I don’t really care about, why not chase after The Goal that I’ve been dreaming about for years?

A year ago, I said this: “I don’t want to be in the same place next year as I am now.” Now, let’s see how far I’ve traveled on my writerly path.

A year ago, I cringed at the thought of anyone knowing that I was trying to write a novel. Or, even be identified as A Writer. Now, I embrace that identity. I am a writer.

A year ago, I started several novels, but was easily discouraged from finishing any of them. Now, I have a novel, WIP1, which is now in the revision phase, and am drafting WIP2.

A year ago, I was overwhelmed with low writerly self-esteem, and pre-rejected myself from submitting my writing to anyone (even to potential writing partners…I felt I was doing them a kindness). Now, I’m writing some short works to submit to various publications. And, my writing partners will be getting part 1 of WIP1 shortly.

A year ago, I felt very much alone (which is probably why I was so easily discouraged!). Now, I have amazing writer friends who I met through the magic of social networks. I even went to an annual writer’s conference last week and chatted with Other Writers about books and stories and other nerdy things. (Indiana SCBWI’s annual conference…highlights of that conference coming soon!)

I’m so thankful for this past year, and look forward to another year of progress toward my goal.

Thank you for your company on this journey.

Is ‘Write What You Know’ Blocking You From Your Writing Goals?

28 Comments

I think it’s a disservice when phrases make the rounds without proper context.

I experienced this when I was aggressively pursuing my fitness goals.  I’m pretty methodical, and don’t deviate from what I know works: lift weights, sprint, eat real food (but not too much).  But, I have friends on fitness forums/blogs confused by every “new” thing they hear on well-meaning news outlets and reality shows.  Things like:

“Good carbs, bad carbs”

“Say NO to Cardio”

“Calories in, Calories out”

Within the fitness community, these phrases have context and when used and understood correctly, can help you achieve your physical fitness goals.  Otherwise, these phrases can seem vague, meaningless, or contradictory and ultimately, can frustrate someone who really wants to achieve lasting physical changes.

Write What You Know.

I know most writers treat the phrase “Write what you know” cautiously, and have learned to deal with it in their own way, whether through modifying it, defining it, or defying it.  I know writers who have defined the phrase broadly, such as researching more or tapping in to another person’s experience.  I know others who have defied it by saying simply, “Just Write”.  I kinda did all three when I chose to rephrase it as: “Write what you can dream.”

The crux of the statement that may hinder anyone outside of the writing community from taking that leap of faith into the writing world is that pesky “know”.  But once you can overcome the limits you place on your definition of the word “know”, you will begin to feel a sense of freedom.  Almost like you’ve given yourself permission to write as freely as you want to.  I know I felt that way.  I have often thought, “well, what’s the point in writing about that because I don’t know everything there is to know about it?”  Once I changed my hangup around the word “know” and started believing in “write what I can dream,” my motivation and drive to accomplish my writing goal increased exponentially.

I will be talking more about inspiration sometime soon, but when it comes to “finding inspiration” (or what I call, filling up my dream well), I think Stephen King said it best: “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”  The more stories you consume the more fodder your subconscious has to work with.  Snippets of your everyday will form great landscapes and endless worlds.  All you have to do is feed your muses.  Keep them entertained and eventually, they will deign to give you a few golden threads you can follow as you navigate your writing path.

SO TELL ME: What are some writerly phrases that you think send mixed signals outside of a writing community?  Are there phrases that you have redefined along your writing journey that inspires you better? Thank you for commenting