Tag: Goals

This Is Why I Love Blogging

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So, over at Kayla Olson’s blog, Owl and Sparrow, she asked, “Where have you been? Where are you going?” and since I was able to really look at my life and acknowledge that I have come a long way since last year, I decided to repost my comment to her, so that I can be reminded of my progress (in terms of mindset and motivation…word counts, mmm, not so much, but I am moving in the right direction!).

My comment was:

It’s so much fun to list all the things that have happened over a significant amount of time…it always makes me thankful for all the things that I have been blessed with and encourages me to chase after more! (Stay hungry, stay foolish, as ole Steve Jobs said…)

Over this last year, I really had one “A-HA” moment, and that one moment allowed for a cascade of events that has led me to now.  (This is why I believe that mindset is so terribly important: thoughts lead to changing behaviors, which leads to results.)

1. I’ve been recognized as a top-performing manager in my company.  The recognition only made me realize that I was tops in a field that at the end of the day, I have no passion for.  The passion that I put in my work to make me one of the best is just my unending drive to “do my best” no matter where I am.  This led me to re-evaluate and prioritize my life around my true life goals.  Plus, I turned 30 in January, which really lit a match for me to “do something.”

2. Part of my “do something” involved regaining my fitness level that I neglected in my 29th year, again for a job that paid the bills but did nothing to nourish my true passions (imagine realizing that I could have “sacrificed my health” for basically nothing. That was truly eye-opening). From Dec-Feb, I achieved my body composition goals, and have since maintained (even improved upon) it.

3. And, of course, as part of my prioritization, I knew, KNEW, that this was the year to stop “dreaming” about writing, and truly live it.  Funny knowing that “waking up” meant that I got to live my dreams.

I know I’m still in the beginning stages, but I am truly motivated to get this done and start living the life that I want to live.

And this is why the blog world is cool: not only do I get to meet a lot of different people, but I also meet people who are doing this crazy writing thing like me, and am encouraged to keep going whether by encouraging others or even just reading through how they have overcome obstacles.  And, I get to write out my thoughts without much of an internal editor and write long sentences that start with “and,” and be OK with it.

Huzzah, and the Magic of Being in My Pretty Purple Robe!

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I had a cute little conversation this morning with another Tweep, and she convinced me that my pretty purple robe definitely qualified as a swirly cape.  I promptly replied that I was so happy that I can now swagger around my house and declare, “Huzah!” at inanimate objects, and they must obey me!  First up, my coffeemaker!  (Didn’t I warn you that I’m a little goofy in the morning?)

So, I know that I’ve said maybe once or twice that I want to be a full-time-writer-specifically-novelist.  But, I wanted to step back and acknowledge the fact that I am in a position at my paythebills job that allows me to be in my pretty purple robe on most (90%) mornings, and considering all the jobs that I could have had to pay my bills, I am extremely thankful.  I recognize that I have a perfect situation to write before and after The Job, giving me literally hours to work on The Novel in my pretty purple robe. (coughcoughwhenidon’tturnonsocialmediacoughcough)

Among other things I get to do in my pretty purple robe is read through other authors’ journeys and get a “second wind” whenever I feel a little tired of this effort.  I can see the obstacles they’ve gone through (mostly, mental and emotional obstacles, huh, imagine that), and see that the only difference between a published, full-time writer and an unpublished part-time writer (or, full-time scribbler) is the discipline and persistence of staying in The Novel and getting that Bad Boy DONE!

So, with 75 days till the end of November, I am committing this blog to my Novel’s journey, and making myself accountable to its progress.

In 75 days, I will hold a finished rough draft with all its flaws and imperfections and declare it beautiful and glorious.  I am proud of it, and of myself for finishing and accomplishing my goal.  I am also looking forward to the next phase of revisions and polishing and otherwise prettying it up for submission.

“Huzzah!” I say, and it was so.

Technically, it's metallic lilac 😉 If you were curious, I bought it 5 years ago, at Victoria's Secret: a satin-y, ankle-length, belted robe with flannel lining. Pretty much perfect.

The Will to Finish

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One of my previous managers gave me this quote: “The will to win is nothing without the will to prepare” (Juma Ikangaa).  I fully agree with that statement, along with another aphorism that is similar to it: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”  But what if “winning” is not necessarily the objective, and depending on the circumstance, the “winning”, “do or die” mentality can do more harm than good?  What if instead we replace the “will to win” with “the will to finish”?

I know that there are a lot of people out there who are motivated by competition (myself included).   Competition can be helpful when it comes to feats of strength or actual arenas where skill is matched with skill, and for the most part, a specific “winner” can be chosen from the pack.

However, in most life matters, the true competition is not against another person, but against myself.  I can see how another person is doing in their weight loss goal, and see if they are outpacing me.  I can see how far along another person is on their word counts, or how many books they have published.  I can see who among my peers are beating their sales goals.  I can learn from them, be inspired by them, and seek to emulate them.  But, the real measure of success and progress should be, and is, against myself: how am I progressing toward my (fitness/writing/business/fill-in-the-blank) goals?

Writing, for me, boils down to me sitting down in front of my keyboard (or Moleskine), and that’s it.  I learn through my struggles and find people* who are supportive and engaging to carry me through the “woe is me” times.  (For the record, those times have been fewer and farther in between; go me!)  It really make no sense to compare myself with another writer.  Besides, another writer’s success does not diminish my own potential for success; neither are their failures my failures.

The only true failure in these real life matters is not finishing, especially because the only real competitors are me and myself (and sometimes, I).  I had my own starting point and my own goals.  Anyone is welcome to observe me, jeer me, or cheer me, as I plod along, but know that my race, my journey is my own competition of one.

Ursula Le Guin said: “It is good to have an end to journey towards, but is the journey that matters in the end.” At the end of the day, the truly remarkable people are not remarkable because they won.  They are remarkable because they attained their goal (despite whatever obstacles were in their way).  They finished and arrived at their specific milestone, and then continued on their path.  They understood that “it is the journey not the arrival that matters.”

And, one day I will find myself at the “finish” of one writing journey, only to prepare myself another one.  Can’t wait.

Behind Closed Doors

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“Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right — as right as you can, anyway — it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it.”

Stephen King, On Writing

My hubs has teased me before about shutting him out of my writing; that I don’t want him or anyone else to read my writing. It’s not that I care if anyone reads my work (I have a public blog, after all), nor that I need or want to shut anyone out. It’s more like I need to shut myself in. I need to keep all these ideas and glimpses from flying away from me, and so I need to have a way to focus and get those captured into words before forgetting.

It’s a bit like describing a dream when you just woke up, which is the reason why I call my creative process active dreaming, or describe my writing as dreaming up my words and worlds. When I’m able to capture it via stream of consciousness writing, I feel so much better that I was able to get those words out. They are now in the real world, maybe not whole, but there, and I can flesh out ideas later.

But, when I’m not able to put those thoughts into words, and they go to limbo never to be remembered again, I feel like I’m dying inside. You know that feeling when you’re having a conversation with someone, and you forget what you were just about to say? You shrug it off during the conversation and say that you’ll remember it later, but then the whole time your friend is talking, you keep saying, “what was I going to say?” and the whole conversation becomes this meaningless exercise in remembering what you wanted to say. The frustration you’re feeling is a fraction of what I feel, because I don’t eventually remember what it is I wanted to capture. And, I feel like I failed my world in a way.

Though I know it will take a lot of work to create the scenes that I need, now that I have the story plotted, I feel like it’s more anchored in this world. I can be interrupted more, because it’s easier to recall and play with things that are “real.” I can pick up where I was interrupted because it’s right there in front of me, like a photograph, and all I need are better words to make it three-dimensional.  It has changed from being subconscious to conscious.  And, shaping and re-shaping something is a whole lot easier than starting from nothing.

Polihale beach

Out, Out!

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So, as I was typing out some of my pages from my notebook, I realized that the story that I was dreaming of last year came surging back like an all-consuming tidal wave.

Instead of increasing the storyline of the one I was working on for the last few weeks, I started from a different point of view on last year’s story.  (The one I lost interest in because I basically plotted my way through the whole story.)  I still have my notes and history and verbiage from that story, too.  It’s kind of cool, because I remembered the lingo so well, that the words came out very naturally.  Of course, that means I basically start from scratch, but I think since I have a bigger view of this story, and the end is basically in sight (albeit, 95,000 words away), I can plod on like a little workhorse and power through the loose outline that I have.

My goal right now is to finish a story, and get all these clamoring voices out of my head before anyone can suspect me of being a little off (though, it’s too late for my hubby!  He’s stuck with me as is!).  That would be an indicator of success for me.  I understand that my first, second, etc, novels may never get published, and so with each story, I would hope that my novel-writing skills would improve.  I won’t even begin to worry about my (lack of) publishing status until I have at least 3 stories finished.

I think Stephen King said that you had to write about a million words of crap before you can start to write well.  In Outliers, the magic number was 10,000 hours of practice to get to perfect.  Well, my current journey is trying to get those 10,000 hours in and 1 million words out.